There are some moments that stand out of several, and there are some memories that we want to take to the grave due to the sweetness. Read this writer’s.
I happened to be having a s*xual relationship with a lady I met on social media far back in 2011 during my National Youth Service programme in Ogun state. She was a police officer. Quite a crazy person with an unbearable urge for s*x. After talking sweet online, we finally met in Ibadan. she wasn’t too beautiful but had alot to offer on bed as she boasted.
As time went on, we set a day for the pleasure deed and it was really explosive with me hitting her up to 10 rounds in just two days at her place in Badagry. She wanted me to stay with her up to a week but I had a feeling my death was close due to the frequency and intensity of the s*x.
I wasn’t too impressed with her physically and considering her poor communication skills, I told myself it was over as I returned to Ibadan where I used to be based then with my family. I got s*x-starved as time went on and after continued pleas from her, we decided to meet again for another round of lovemaking at her place in Lagos. I took an excuse from home and embarked on the trip. On getting to Badagry, I called her to notify her of my presence but events took a dramatic turn. To my greatest shock, she switched off her phone. I tried severally and couldn’t reach her. I checked my phone call records when I remembered she once contacted me with an Etisalat line. I finally found it and called her up but when she heard it was me, she switched off the phone again.
I was so disturbed and confused. I was wondering what happened as the day was getting dark and such areas are not safe at night particularly for a stranger like me with an innocent face. It wouldn’t take a hoodlum a second to know I am new in the environment. I was so unsettled as she was the brain behind my coming with her sweet words and sensational promises.
As the day got darker, I knew I was in danger. I have friends in the core parts of Lagos and as for inside Badagry, I had nobody. I started racking my brains on how to locate her house which I visited about 7 months ago. I missed my way initially but I was able to locate the particular junction to her house from which I discovered her place eventually. I met her neighbour’s daughter and her younger brother. The neighbour’s daughter was almost 18 years old then. They quickly recognised me and gave me water to drink on my demand. I felt like committing suicide. The entire ‘illegal’ journey started to dawn on me. I lied to my parents I was going to my former school to secure my transcript which I needed for my Masters admission. I almost cursed my life. It was obvious I successfully crossed my boundary.
It was a face-to-face apartment and my fling’s door was locked. The girl gave me more water and toothpaste. I washed my face and brushed my teeth. We both discussed where I could possibly lay my head for the night. My bank account was slimmer than Mavin’s female act, Di’ja, so lodging into an hotel was a no-go-area. The girl who believes my fling is my sister for security reasons opened up to me that she is married to one mobile police officer attached to one unit in Lagos and that I am one of the numerous guys that pay her visits. Immediately, the image of the ‘hard-face’ of mobile policemen in Nigeria struck me. I knew I was playing with the tail of a rattle snake. I just wanted to sleep. She gave me the option of sleeping on the bench of their passage as her father was around and wouldn’t accommodate me.
Meanwhile, while the whole drama was on; I confided in a friend who is like a crime partner to me on ‘bed-related issues’ he ran out of options too. He was like ‘please just find a way to stay alive for the night’ It was really getting late; time was almost 10pm with no hope of a place to sleep. I was getting disturbed. I saw a church along the street (name withheld), no service was going on but the doors were opened. My plan was to go and explain my plight to the pastor with a cooked up story so that he would allow me sleep. Funny enough, I had 10 packets of ‘bullets’ in my bag. I was thinking about throwing them away because the man of God could decide to ascertain the contents of my bag. On the sight of those ‘weapons of mass destruction’ he would know I am not a gentleman.

My fling’s number later got reachable that night. She told me she had a lot to explain and we would talk the following day. She advised me to keep myself safe for her till the following day. She rushed to speak to me at a low tone and then I realized she was with another man with the financial power unlike me that had only pleasure to offer her.
Her neighbour’s daughter suggested I should go spend the night with a trusted widow she could vouch for. According to her, the woman lost her husband years ago and she is almost 50. That was risky; such a person could tear a young blood like me apart at night. I have only dated someone who is 5 years older than me all my life.  As we were gisting, a police officer who was occupying one of the rooms in the building came out with his girlfriend, a very tall and slim girl. I didn’t pay attention. Instantly, the neighour’s daughter secretly told the girl my ordeal. As I was gnashing my teeth and watching the street get deserted by residents going to bed, the police officer’s girlfriend approached me.
She was like: ”I have heard your story. Don’t bother your head. You will sleep in my boyfriend’s room as he is on a night shift”
Immediately, it was if a burden was lifted off me. I called my crime partner. He was overjoyed. He told me to replace the policeman’s girlfriend with my missing fling. I said it was impossible and we both laughed and ended the conversation. It was in the course of interaction between the girl and the neighbour that I realized the policeman’s girlfriend was waiting for her National Youth Service Corp mobilisation. She bragged about it. I smiled deep inside like a boss and kept mum. Later, I dropped a hint about NYSC. She was shocked and impressed. Not too long, her boyfriend got on his motorcycle and rode off to work. She tapped me and said we should go sleep.
We got into the room. It wasn’t a too nice sight but was okay for the night. She wanted to cook for me but I declined. I was so bitter and angry with myself. I just wanted to sleep and count my losses later. I was determined to leave back for Ibadan first thing the following morning. The bed in the room reminded me of my first bed while I was serving in Bauchi state before I redeployed to Ogun state. The bed was almost a mat. I took a spot at the edge and started forcing myself to sleep as I wept bitterly in my heart. I felt like castrating myself or going for deliverance for my careless actions motivated by my s*xual desires.
The lady carefully laid beside me. I told her I don’t sleep with the lights on which is true. She said she wanted it on. Immediately, I complied because I had no choice. She later tapped me to take off the light. As I looked at her, the look on her face was flirty. I was already off guard. I just wanted to sleep and ease my pains. I switched off the light and hit the bed. She brought out her phone and started playing music videos. Then, I knew there was a problem for me. My sleep was disturbed. I asked why she was reluctant to sleep. She replied she wasn’t feeling sleepy and wanted to talk.
So I turned round and joined her. She started telling me about her love life and how bad the police officer treats her. She claimed she finished from the prestigious University of Lagos. She told me the escapades of my fling. It became more glaring I was in the enemy’s territory and was unwise to stay longer than a minute the following day. As the discussion started running dry, she dropped a comment on my looks. She said she couldn’t watch a handsome guy like me in distress and had to go against all odds to relieve me of my stress. I smiled and thanked her. As I turned to sleep, she told me she would stay awake. She said she hates to sleep alone and always needs someone to pet her to sleep.
Suddenly, it was as if the veil in my eyes was removed. I suddenly gained consciousness of my status as a lion that never misses on its prey. The animal in me was awake. I took a bold step my touching her hair and pleading with her to sleep. The response was expected. The tempo of her voice dropped so low and she didn’t resist. I turned her around, kissed her and reached for her breasts with my mouth. She acted startled and asked why I was taking advantage of her. She accused me of trying to pay her kindness with evil deeds. I suggested I should go sleep at the veranda of the house but she refused. I started feeling guilty and so confused.
As I laid down quietly with the feeling of the prodigal son, she laughed at me. I laughed too and said she is a beautiful person I have difficulties resisting. That threw her off balance. Ladies love to hear nice words. She was like: “really? Are you sure? Okkk oh!”
I went closer with a kiss. This time the response from her was like an attack. She was as desperate as a vampire at the sight of a fresh blood. I reached for my bag and brought out my ‘bullet’. I love to play safe. All these ladies can’t be trusted with where they enter. I cruised in like a boss. The smoothness of the ride showed she was s*xually active and wasn’t new to the game. There were amazing reactions from her and in a few minutes I was done. I was so happy. My nerves relaxed. My thinking became clear. I thanked her for the rare opportunity to enter her country without the due process of visa.
As I attempted to sleep, she tapped me like an armed robber notifying the owner of the house he was in the building for business. She said: ”Come and finish what you have started. I am in the mood now”
I was stunned. Me wey never chop since morning. I swiftly reached for my armoury and loaded gun. The battle kicked off. She was talented. Slim ladies are the best. They are very innovative with positions and it’s easy for them due to the stature. She was switching positions as if we were striking poses in a photo studio. I was tired after the stress of the day. She was very motivating. She psyched me up as I thrust harder.
She was like: “Yes! You are good!! I mean it!!! You are good!!!! Don’t give up!!!!! Don’t ever give up!!!!!”
It was as it I was up for a medal. She taught me some sensational moves that drove me to tears of intense ecstasy. She was like a beast in human form. When she grabbed the wall and instructed me to come from behind while she screamed like she was dying. I knew I was in sweet trouble. After a while, I exploded in her. I was exhausted and fell on the bed helplessly. She cuddled me like a mother holding on to her child hit by a stray bullet in the war front. She wiped my sweat and held me tight. I almost felt I was shooting a Nigerian remake of the famous Titanic movie. I couldn’t even open my eyes fully. She rubbed my long hair because I am fond of wearing afro. She led me to the bathroom where water was rushing from the shower. I had a cold bath while she watched. She took a vantage position to stay at me from head to toe and was brightly smiling. She seemed impressed. I was so glad too.
After the bathe, she laid me on my back on the bed and started a massage process. She told me she wanted a bloody rematch outside Badagry in the nearest future as she intends to get really wild with me. In my heart, I was like; Never! This one go fit kill person lol. Her massage was kinda professional. She ended with a head. Her way of handling the ‘microphone’ like a music artiste as well as using the ‘tip’ to her advantage made me realize she would easily cause the death of a hypertensive patient. We hit it two more times and fell apart in deep sleep.
Her boyfriend was supposed to return from the night shift as early as 7am. She woke me up around 5am. I rushed to take my bath. As I dressed up, she asked for one more. We laughed like possessed people. She was lying on the bed with her bed with her back facing me. I told her to maintain that position. I reached for my ‘Arsenal’ and brought out the injection like a doctor administering treatment to a patient. I took on her from behind. What a position!
After that, I knew the mission was accomplished. I threw away the used bullets that were safely gathered and took a straight bus back to the ancient city of Ibadan. While in the bus, my fling kept calling me to return that she would do anything to make me happy. I thought about her alleged MOPOL husband and my body water level. I couldn’t take the risk. Dying during a s*x romp is the last channel I will like to take out of this world. I picked her calls and laughed like the Mortal Combat character, Shao Khan till I got to Ibadan. I walked into my home safely feeling like the last warrior standing after a terrific war.
The accomplishment was a hit ‘back to back’ (in Olamide’s voice) among my friends. I was almost given a chieftaincy title. It’s been almost 4 years now. Other experiences have taken place but the memories and the circumstances that led to this pleasure event still remains evergreen in my head.

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